Yoga & Life...

Almost a month ago (how did that much time pass so fast?) Roseanne over at its all yoga, baby tagged me with a meme. (Remember, I talked about it here.) And I publicly agreed to play along. And while that promise has been on my mind a lot lately, when I sit down to write 7 things about me and my yoga (or yoga in general for that matter), my mind goes blank. My fingers can't find the right keys. Not because I don't have anything to say, but because I can't quite figure out how to coherently express in 7 bulleted points how I feel about yoga right now.

So I'm gonna settle for these few thoughts as my response...it's a start any how.

When I began practicing yoga 10 years ago, never would I have guessed it would be such a central part of my life now. And even when I quit my full time job "just" to teach yoga a little over 3 years ago, I would have never imagined all the ups and downs, growth and frustrations, that would be part of the practice...and of making the practice my business. It has been an interesting journey thus far.

I know for a fact that my life is richer, happier, a more true reflection of ME because of yoga. That life has been both enhanced and complicated by deepening my practice. What I'm learning is that my yoga is richer, happier, and more true when I balance it out with the rest of my life. It seems like such a simple concept, I'm not sure why it has taken me this long to make the connection.

Finding the right balance can be tricky for me when it comes to how much, or how little, time I allow yoga to have during my day/week. As a teacher I want to soak up all the info I can to be of better service to my students. Yet when I immerse myself in study...teaching+reading+talking about+more reading+watching...I often feel burnt out and over-whelmed. Instead of being a joy, teaching/study become just one more chore to which I have to tend. I stress about which school of thought or style of yoga I should devote my attention. I worry about the validity of my "teacher" status, second guessing my credentials to stand in front of a class of willing and open students looking to me for guidance. I obsess about what yoga and what a "proper" yogi "should" look like.

Honestly, it all starts to become a great big downer...and then I consider ending my teaching career.

Lately I've taken more time to enjoy a few other, non-yoga centered joys in life. With the fall weather comes more time spent knitting. Taking on a new part-time job and challenge has meant learning new things. (Which is completely refreshing to someone who would have been happy never to have left college...and who still has dreams of "going back to school" some day, even if it's just for fun.) I've once again taken more time to explore the world through the lens of my camera. I've tried new recipes and variations of old favorites in search of gluten free goodies. I've tried to be more present for my family. (Which I actually find challenging at times because I kinda like my ME time.)

In short...I've paid more attention to life outside of yoga.

And guess what?

Yoga has become fun again!

I look forward to teaching, even when I feel as if I'm going into class to teach "the same old asanas". Some how even the most familiar poses feel more fresh. All those worries about devotion to a guru/style/etc. fade away with the flow. I allow myself to feel and accept that I am where I need to be on my journey right now, at this point.

It's as if finding more balance in how I feed the many layers of my being has allowed my yoga to more fully breath.

It's in realizations such as this...realizing that even the study of yoga needs to be done with balance...that I have come to appreciate how much the practice of yoga has simply become part of my life.

And how living my life fully is necessary for my continued practice of yoga.

You're right Roseanne...it really IS all yoga, baby.


~namaste~